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Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram
Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram

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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?

Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.

I said “Somebody should do something about that.” Then I realized I am somebody.

You are what you think … geez, that’s frightening.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.

No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.

Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram
Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram

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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Growing up in Michigan was fine…until I realized where I was.

So if you’ve had a good time tonight, or if you’ve had a good time any night, for gosh sake’s why not drop a dollar in the mail to me?

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else

Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol

The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Just remember, we’re all in this alone.

Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram
Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram

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I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

Sometimes i worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.

If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed!

Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

After all, in private, we’re all misfits

Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

I always wanted to be something, but now I see I should have been more specific.

We’re all in this alone.

The best mind altering drug is the truth.

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then–we elected them.

Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram
Lily Tomlin Quotes Captions For Instagram

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Reality is a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.

The road to success is always under construction.

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