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Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram
Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram

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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

I’m a walking, talking enigma. We’re a dying breed.

I’m a walking, talking enigma.

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn’t involve a woman.

If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.

I gave a funny speech at my wife’s birthday party, and I’m thinking, ‘Hey, I’ve still got it.’

Switzerland is a place where they don’t like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.

I don’t take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.

Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram
Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram

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The addition of nuts in salad… I always find to be beneficial.

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn’t normally.

I don’t think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It’s not even interesting to me.

You have to discover when you’re inadequate to be funny and you don’t know you’re inadequate when you’re a kid.

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m deaf and I try to imagine what it’s like not to be able to hear them. It’s not that bad.

Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair… Change my name, just see what happens.

I learned the first night that IHOP’s not the place to order fish.

Let’s go upstairs and all get under the covers and sob.

I don’t write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that’s going to happen. There’s an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it.

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I’m very casual about it.

When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street – things like that.

There’s nothing that reflects me. I’m unreflectable!

Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram
Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram

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I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

I’m one of the idiots that negotiates after I write.

I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

I’m a jerk, that’s who I am. I’m like everybody else.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesnâ ™t need therapy.

Zero, zero belief in myself. And it’s changed somewhat, but there’s still a lot of that in me.

You know, when you do standup there are certain requirements that you have to do like you have to go on stage and when you get introduced you have to say Hey,how ya doin’? How are ya? I couldn’t do it. It was false.

I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.

I couldn’t walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.

I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.

I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.

Yeah, It’s A House. It’s New. I Get It. It’s Nice.

Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram
Larry David Quotes Captions For Instagram

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I Don’t Like Talking To People I Know, But Strangers I Have No Problem With.

They Don’t Deserve Candy.

A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied.

I think golf is literally an addiction. I’m surprised there’s not Golf Anonymous.

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