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Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram
Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram

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If a man doesn’t know how to dance he doesn’t know how to make love, there I said it!

If I start giving people what they like I’ll turn into one of them and I don’t want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven’t touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else’s.

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.

I didn’t say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It’s just a pitch that you missed, and you’d better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don’t.

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.

You gotta laugh because if you didn’t you’d cry

Anyone who’s just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn’t matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram
Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram

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Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

I freely admit I’m confused. I’m a confused and troubled individual but at the same time…Its Free!

When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we’d get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.

I’m reading a book, because I’m brainy. No, it is a book – if you don’t know, it is like a blog except bigger.

I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me.

I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

It’s like, it’s kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that’s my show. It’s a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it.

I’m not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.

I’ve got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.

I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: ‘Wait a minute – if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?’ And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk.

I am reasonably happy. I didn’t find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now.

They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best.

Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram
Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram

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When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don’t stop, I’m going to die.

I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.

A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I’m not going to do anything. I’m going as Congress.

I can’t wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies. So far the one that Obama likes is where Biden pretends to have food poisoning and they cancel the debate.

Rush Limbaugh says if the health care bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago.

The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.

When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. ‘You don’t pay me back I break both yer legs.’ Is that all? You won’t take my house or wreck my credit rating? Fine where do I sign. Legs? Fine. You don’t even have to sign anything.

It takes a long time to become a lawyer because you need three things – a bachelor’s degree, a law degree, and a desire to worship Satan.

Change is the law of God’s mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.

There’s something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn’t all aromatherapy and scented candles.

I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn’t mean that at all. It means that you’re afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right.

I’m gonna enjoy being old I think I’ll be awesome at it.

Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a year. The feeling of what if when meeting the eyes of a stranger can be love unrecognized.

Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram
Craig Ferguson Quotes Captions For Instagram

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It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.

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