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Yakov Smirnoff Quotes Captions For Instagram
Yakov Smirnoff Quotes Captions For Instagram

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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses… That’s it.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.

In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Yakov Smirnoff Quotes Captions For Instagram
Yakov Smirnoff Quotes Captions For Instagram

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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.

To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper.

It’s kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we’ve heard in fairy tales.

I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don’t use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

In today’s society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.

I fed my ego, but not my soul.

Yakov Smirnoff Quotes Captions For Instagram
Yakov Smirnoff Quotes Captions For Instagram

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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

We have a choice – we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.

Never having alone time is real tough on people.

The ad in the paper said ‘Big Sale. Last Week.’ Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in.

When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.

In America, you can always find a party.

I’ll never forget walking down one of the aisles (of the grocery store) and seeing powdered milk; just add water and you get milk. Right next to it was powdered orange juice; just add water and you get orange juice. Then I saw baby powder, and I thought to myself, What a country!

Men and women are immigrants in each other’s worlds.

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